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Each and every Christian has a God Given responsibility to convert Jews. Just ask the Southern Baptist Convention
For example there is a point system given by God in John-Paul 7-11. " For each so called Christian Ye convert there shall be one point and for each Pagan ye convert there shall be two points, but for each Jew ye convert There Shall be ten points given, and Yeah for each Rabbi there shall be 20 points Given"
Please fill out the Voucher at the end of this tract and have it signed by your Jew.
You will then be entered in our fantastic free drawing and will
possibly win valuable prizes according to your works of conversion.
God has laid this foolproof Ten Point Plan to Convert
Jews on my heart based on my years of experience being a Jew Converter.
Follow this plan and YOU will be eligible for great prizes at our JEW DRAWING!
Let the information on this web page be your guide to converting those
pesky ingrate Jews and turning them into good little messianics that you
can parade in front of your church. Remember; there are points given
for your works of conversion on our web page will help you win those
MIKE GORGONZOLLA'S FOOLPROOF PLAN
1. Use many "Yiddish" words in your conversation. Use Tush, Knishes,
Mishpuchah,Rugalah, Bupkes, Mishugah,BaPitzed, Gonif, Schmuck,
Chutzpah, Goyim, and Pippick. Approach your Jew by saying, " Hi
Mishugah, How's your Pippick"
2. Never say Jew when addressing a Jewish person. Always say Kike or Hymie. Jews love these Yiddish sayings.
3. Never say Jesus Christ, but say Yeshua HaMashiach. This impresses
Jewish people by your knowledge of Hebrew. After all, you may know as
much Hebrew as they do!
4. Make it clear that "Gentile" and "Christian" are not the same. After
all the Christians who pushed Jews into the gas chambers were not
5. Explain that not everybody that goes to church is really a Christian.
Most of these people just want to show off their Sunday Clothes and
listen to the preacher tell them that they really aren't Christians..
6. When you talk about other Christians (Goyim) call them "Shicksah" (for Woman) and "Shagitz" (for Man).
7. Explain that true Christians, such as yourself, do not kill Jews, but love to kidnap them and brainwash them.
8. Pick on a poor lonely Jews, or waylay confused teenagers. Refrain
from too much talk concerning Spiritual Matters. Every third sentence
should be enough.
9. Jews are agents of the devil (even if they are not aware of it
themselves). Look for evidence of the devil such as horns, pointed
tails, sharp noses, or basic intelligence. You must clearly demonstrate
that you have none of these.
10. After you have become frendly to your Jew. You must feed them some
pork or shell fish. This will make them into Sinners. Explain to them
that they must be washed in the BLOOD of the Lamb to absolve them of
this Sin. Most Jews would rather use Soap.
I will describe some things about Jews so you won't sound stupid when talking with them
THE TORAH The Jewish Bible is called the TORAH. Why, nobody
really knows, but it is tradition. Jews have a tradition of reading the
TORAH BACKWARDS! This shows how confused they are. The TORAH is not
written in Jewish, but in an ancient language called Hebrew. Do you know
that in Hebrew, Who is He, He is She, Me is Who, and Dag is fish?
This sounds like Abbot and Costello, who were Catholic. The Jews have
always been progressive and with it. Do you know that all prayers end in
"Amen" which means "Right ON".
PASSOVER When the Jewish people escaped from Egypt, they had no
time to bake bread so they made Matzah instead. This is very crummy
stuff. Never Eat Matzah over your Jewish friend's good furniture. The
Holiday is called Passover, but it really should be called Passunder for
two reasons. First, everybody drinks four cups of wine which makes them
very happy and they lean back alot, not to mentions everybody spills
ten drops. Second they send all the children looking thoughout the house
for a piece of Motzah. These children pass over and under everything.
Speaking about children, the youngest child askes four questions which
are answered by the daddy with the five answers. Every Jewish family has
four children, The Wise Guy, The Bad Guy, The Silly Guy, and the Dumb
Guy. This is very strange because at the end of the passover they all
sing "An Only Kid".
Hannukah This holday is the Jewish Christmas. Jewish families do
not have Christmas lights, but have a bunch of candles that are made in
Israel. All Jewish families have Hannukah Bushes and sing Hannukah
Carols, but they sing them to a strange four sided top called a driedle.
Jewish families give presents for 8 days instead of 1 day. The
favorite Food is a peculiar type of potato pancake called a Latke.
Nobody can eat just one and nobody can get up from the table after
YOM KIPPUR Jewish families send their kids to day camp in the
summer. Usually these camps are called "Camp YOM YOM" because they serve
Knishes and Rugalah every day. When summer is over the kids have to go
back to School. Then the parents cellebrate YOM KIPPUR which is the end
of camp YOM YOM. Nobody eats beacuse they are so full of apples and
honey from RUSH HA SHONAH when they Blow the SHOFAR. The object of this
holiday is to see who can blow the SHOFAR the LONGEST.
SHABBAT The Jews were given the Sabbath which is on Saturday.
Christians, because they came late celebrate it on Sunday. To make sure
they don't miss it Jews start celbrating holidays in the eveneng before
each holiday. Every Friday night is called Shabbat (notice how the h
has moved from the end of the word to the second letter) which is
celebrated by dancing with witches. Which is why they are called witches
Sabbaths. The celebration ends with an ONEG which is an orgy of
Knishes and Rugalah.
OTHER HOLIDAYS The Jews have a lot of other holidays, but they are never celebrated. These are:
Tu B'Shevat: Everybody Eats Almond Joy
Purim: An obscure Babylonian Holliday with a big noise and a Migillah Gorilla.
Pentacost: Nothing happens!
Simchat Torah: Go and picket your local Russian Embasy
Sukkot This is a celebration of doing additions to your house.
The Jewish people remember when the roof was off and there was an
unexpected rainstorm in July. However this holiday is in October.
SPYING on JEWS
Any one who wants to can go to a Jewish service. They are held every
Friday Evening. Be sure to arive early so you can see the Sacrifices.
Don't be too early or you will BE the Sacrifice. Every body wears
beanies on their heads. These are called Yama Kaz . Put one on so they
don't know who you are. Be sure to stand up when everybody stands and
sit when everybody sits. Be prepared to Mumble. Remember the prayer book
is BACKWARDS. You must eat the ONEG. Say SHABBAT SHALOM to the Rabbi.
Look for the Witches. They are old Women wearing scarfs on their heads.
For More Information, Write to :..
Box 195 Los Altos CA 94023