Guzmano Zortch
Guzmano Zortch Missionary of the Gospel to the Jews

70 years old

United States

Last Login: 10/19/2010
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I certify that I am 1.8 years or older. I understand that TrueRosconianPriestess can not guarantee the amount of Salvation and replies I will receive, nor the works of Salvation of the Priestesses sending these messages. TrueRosconianPriestess is purely for Systematic Salvation, that can only be earned through True Belief upon the Lord Roscoe as your Personal Saviour.

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A) That you are a human, at least 1.8-years of age (2.1-years old in AL, MS, NE, WY, and any other location where 1.8 is not the age of silliness). B) That you will not permit any person(s) under 1.8-years of age (2.1-years old in AL, MS, NE, WY, and any other location where 1.8 is not the age of silliness) to have access to any of the materials contained within this Site. C) That you understand that when you gain access to this site, you will be exposed to visual images, verbal descriptions and audio sounds of a FAXualy oriented, frankly neurotic nature, which may include graphic visual depictions and descriptions of prudity and FAXual activity. You are voluntarily choosing to do so, because you want to view, read and/or hear the various materials which are available, for your own personal enjoyment, information and/or education. Your choice is a manifestation of your interest in FAXual matters which, you believe, is both healthy and normal and which, in your experience, is generally shared by average adults in your community. You further represent and warrant that you are familiar with the standards in your community regarding the acceptance of such FAXualy oriented materials, and the materials you expect to encounter are within those standards. In your judgment, the average adult in your community accepts the consumption of such materials by willing adults in circumstances such as this which offer reasonable insulation from the materials for minors and unwilling adults, and will not find such materials to appeal to a prurient interest or to be patently offensive.

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TrueRosconianPriestess's usage and/or subscription fees were provided to you upon registration and may change from time to time upon electronic notice to you. TrueRosconianPriestess reserves the right to terminate your access to the site for any reason or no reason. TrueRosconianPriestess may terminate your membership upon sending notice to you at the email address you provide in your application for membership or such other email address as you may later provide to us. If TrueRosconianPriestess terminates your membership because you have breached this Agreement, you will not be entitled to any refund of any unused subscription fees. Even after this Agreement is terminated, certain provisions will remain in effect including sections 1, 3, 14, inclusive, of this Agreement.

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This TrueRosconianPriestess site is for the personal use of individual members and viewers only and may not be used in connection with any commercial endeavors. Organizations, companies, and/or businesses may not become members of this site and shall not use the TrueRosconianPriestess service or site for any purpose including but not limited to: sending unsolicited commercial e-mail to members, sending advertisements for other web sites and services in this site's chat rooms, or using member personal identifying information for commercial purposes. Illegal and/or unauthorized uses of the site, including unauthorized framing of or linking to the site or the sending of unsolicited commercial email will be investigated, and appropriate legal action will be taken, including without limitation, civil, criminal, and injunctive redress and/or termination of membership at TrueRosconianPriestess's sole discretion. In order to prevent the sending of unsolicited commercial email or chat messages to its members, TrueRosconianPriestess may take reasonable steps, including the limiting of the numbers of emails or chat messages sent or received by a member and electronically filtering or throttling or terminating e-mail and chat messages at TrueRosconianPriestess's sole discretion.

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5. Content Posted on the Site/CDA

: A) TrueRosconianPriestess claims immunity from liability to the fullest extent under the law and as provided under the Communications Decency Act for Content provided by third parties and members and nothing in this agreement is intended to waive, remove, or usurp such immunity. You understand and agree that TrueRosconianPriestess may delete any content, messages, photos or profiles (collectively, 'Content') that in the sole judgment TrueRosconianPriestess violates the Terms of Use or which might be offensive, illegal, or that might violate the rights, harm, or threaten the safety of TrueRosconianPriestess and/or its members.

B) You are solely responsible for the content that you publish or display (hereinafter, 'post') on TrueRosconianPriestess, or transmit to other TrueRosconianPriestess members.

C) By posting content to any public area of TrueRosconianPriestess, you automatically grant, and you represent and warrant that you have the right to grant, to TrueRosconianPriestess and its members, an irrevocable, perpetual, non-exclusive, fully-paid, worldwide license to use, copy, perform, display, and distribute such information, rights of publicity, and content and to prepare derivative works of, or incorporate into other works and other media, such information and content, and to grant and authorize sublicenses of the foregoing. D) TrueRosconianPriestess will investigate and take appropriate legal action in its sole discretion against anyone who violates this provision, including without limitation, removing the offending communication from the site or service and terminating the membership of such violators. The following is a partial list of the kind of content that is illegal or prohibited on the site - it includes content that: is patently offensive to the online community, such as content that promotes racism, bigotry, hatred or physical harm of any kind against any group or individual; harasses or advocates harassment of another person or invades their privacy; involves the transmission of 'junk mail', 'chain letters,' or unsolicited commercial e-mail or 'spamming'; promotes information that you know is false, misleading or promotes illegal activities or conduct that is abusive, threatening, obscene, defamatory or libelous; promotes an illegal or unauthorized copy of another person's copyrighted work, such as providing pirated computer programs or links to them, providing information to circumvent manufacture-installed copy-protect devices, or providing pirated music or links to pirated music files; contains restricted or password only access pages, or hidden pages or images (those not linked to or from another accessible page); displays pornographic or FAXualy explicit material of any kind; provides material that exploits people under the age of 18 in a FAXual or violent manner, or solicits personal information from anyone under 18; provides content that involves cursing, swearing, incest, falsifying gender, violence, necrophilia, impersonating another member, threat of suicide or harm to oneself or others, drug paraphernalia, or beastiality; provides instructional information about illegal activities such as making or buying illegal weapons, violating someone's privacy, or providing or creating computer viruses; solicits passwords or personal identifying information for commercial or unlawful purposes from other users; sending advertisements in chat or instant messaging messages; and engages in commercial activities and/or sales without our prior written consent such as contests, sweepstakes, barter, advertising, and pyramid schemes.

E) You must use the TrueRosconianPriestess service in a manner consistent with any and all applicable laws and regulations.

F) You agree that you will not use any robot, spider, other automatic device, or manual process to monitor or copy our web pages or the content contained herein without our prior expressed written permission. You agree that you will not use any device, software or routine to bypass or to interfere or attempt to interfere with the proper working of the TrueRosconianPriestess site. You agree that you will not take any action that imposes an unreasonable or disproportionately large load on our infrastructure. Much of the information on our site is updated on a real time basis and is proprietary or is licensed to TrueRosconianPriestess by our users or third parties.

G) You may not engage in advertising to, or solicitation of, other members to buy or sell any products or services through the service. You will not transmit any chain letters or junk email to other TrueRosconianPriestess members. Although TrueRosconianPriestess cannot monitor the conduct of its members off the TrueRosconianPriestess site, it is also a violation of these rules to use any information obtained from the service in order to harass, abuse, or harm another person, or in order to contact, advertise to, solicit, or sell to any member without their prior explicit consent.

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You may not post, distribute, or reproduce in any way any copyrighted material, trademarks, or other proprietary information without obtaining the prior written consent of the owner of such proprietary rights or otherwise have a valid basis under the law, including 'fair use'. Without limiting the foregoing, if you believe that your work has been copied and posted on the TrueRosconianPriestess service in a way that constitutes copyright infringement, please provide our Copyright Agent with the following information consistent with the Digital Millennium Copyright Act (DMCA): an electronic or physical signature of the person authorized to act on behalf of the owner of the copyright interest; a description of the copyrighted work that you claim has been infringed; a description of where the material that you claim is infringing is located on the our site including the URLs of web pages and/or hyperlinks; your address, telephone number, and email address; a written statement by you that you have a good faith belief that the disputed use is not authorized by the copyright owner, its agent, or the law; a statement by you, made under penalty of perjury, that the above information in your Notice is accurate and that you are the copyright owner or authorized to act on the copyright owner's behalf. It is the intention of TrueRosconianPriestess to fully comply with the DMCA, including the Notice and 'take down' provisions and to benefit from the safe harbors immunizing it from liability to the fullest extent provided by law, and to the extent the Notice and 'take down' requirements above deviate from the requirements under the DMCA then the Notice requirements as provided by the DMCA shall control and are herein incorporated by reference.

7. Member Disputes:

TrueRosconianPriestess does not control the information provided by other users that are made available through our system. You may find other user's information to be offensive, harmful, inaccurate, or deceptive. Please use caution, common sense, and safety when using our site. You are solely responsible for your interactions with other TrueRosconianPriestess members. Because it is not involved in member interactions, in the event that you have a dispute with one or more members or those who have posted, viewed, or used information on the TrueRosconianPriestess site, you release TrueRosconianPriestess, including its officers, directors, agents, subsidiaries and employees, from claims, demands and damages (actual and consequential) of every kind and nature, known and unknown, suspected and unsuspected, disclosed and undisclosed, arising out of or in any way connected with such disputes.

8. Disclaimers:

TrueRosconianPriestess, including its officers, directors, agents, subsidiaries and employees is not responsible for any incorrect or inaccurate content posted on the site or in connection with the TrueRosconianPriestess service, whether caused by users, members or by any of the equipment or programming associated with or utilized in the service, nor for the conduct of any user and/or member of the TrueRosconianPriestess service whether online or offline. TrueRosconianPriestess assumes no responsibility for any error, omission, interruption, deletion, defect, delay in operation or transmission, communications line failure, theft or destruction or unauthorized access to, or alteration of, user and/or member communications. TrueRosconianPriestess is not responsible for any problems or technical malfunction of any telephone network or lines, computer on-line-systems, servers or providers, computer equipment, software, failure of email or players on account of technical problems or traffic congestion on the Internet or at any website or combination thereof, including injury or damage to users and/or members or to any other person's computer related to or resulting from participating or downloading materials in connection with the TrueRosconianPriestess site and/or in connection with the TrueRosconianPriestess service. Under no circumstances TrueRosconianPriestess, be responsible for any loss or damage resulting from anyone's use of the site or the service and/or any content posted on the TrueRosconianPriestess site or transmitted to TrueRosconianPriestess members. The site and the service are provided 'AS-IS' and TrueRosconianPriestess expressly disclaims any warranty of fitness for a particular purpose or non-infringement. TrueRosconianPriestess cannot guarantee and does not promise any specific results from use of the site and/or the TrueRosconianPriestess service.

9. Limitation on Liability:

Except in jurisdictions where such provisions are restricted (and in that event liability is disclaimed to the fullest extent permitted by law), in no event will TrueRosconianPriestess be liable to you or any third person for any indirect, consequential, exemplary, incidental, special or punitive damages, including also lost profits arising from your use of the site or the TrueRosconianPriestess service, even TrueRosconianPriestess has been advised of the possibility of such damages. Notwithstanding anything to the contrary contained herein, TrueRosconianPriestess's liability to you for any cause whatsoever, and regardless of the form of the action, will at all times be limited to the amount paid, if any, by you to TrueRosconianPriestess for the service during the term of membership.

10. Arbitration of Disputes:

Any and all disputes arising out of or related to these Terms of Use and/or your relationship with TrueRosconianPriestess and/or your use of this site shall be submitted to binding arbitration within the United Kingdom. The parties to the arbitration shall evenly divide any and all costs of the arbitration. Neither party shall be entitled to attorney fees.

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You agree to indemnify and hold TrueRosconianPriestess, its subsidiaries, affiliates, officers, agents, and other partners and employees, harmless from any loss, liability, claim, or demand, including reasonable attorney's fees, made by any third party due to or arising out of your use of the service in violation of this Agreement and/or arising from a breach of these Terms of Use and/or any breach of your representations and warranties set forth above.

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We use your email address and your other personal information to help us efficiently operate the service, to contact you in connection with your transactions and other activities on the service (including, but not limited to, confirmation emails or important news that could affect your relationship with TrueRosconianPriestess), and to forward messages to you from other TrueRosconianPriestess users. These types of communications are known as 'Operational Communications'. In some cases, Operational Communications may also contain commercial messages, such as banner ads and special offers. We also use personal information to send you newsletters, information, offers and other promotional materials for TrueRosconianPriestess's or third parties' goods or services. We attempt to send you offers that are of value to you, such as discounts, exclusive offers or special event information. To operate the service, including processing your transactions and supporting your activities on the service, we may share your personal information with our agents, representatives, contractors and service providers so they can provide us with support services such as authorization of credit card transactions, email origination, receipt or support services, customer relationship management services, order fulfillment and sweepstakes and promotional fulfillment. We require these entities not to use your information for any other purpose. You consent to our providing your personal information to those third parties. Those third parties may use your personal information in accordance with their own privacy policies. You will need to contact those third parties to instruct them directly regarding your preferences for the use of your personal information by them. Additionally, you agree that we may use and disclose all such information so submitted to such third parties in the same manner in which we are entitled to use and disclose any other information you submit to us. Any third party with whom we are allowed to share your personal information is authorized to use your personal information in accordance with our contractual arrangements with such third parties and in accordance with their own privacy policies, over which we have no control, and you agree that we are not responsible or liable for any of their actions or omissions. Those who contact you will need to be instructed directly by you regarding your preferences for the use of your personal information by them.

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PAYMENTS FOR OUR PREMIUM SERVICES ARE RECURRING AND ARE IN US DOLLARS OR PAPSHKIES. User consents to recurring billing for services/access provided on an ongoing basis. Such recurring billing shall continue until such time as the user cancels the service.

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How to Convert a Jew
By Mike Gorgonzolla

Each and every Christian has a God Given responsibility to convert Jews.
Just ask the Southern Baptist Convention

For example there is a point system given by God in John-Paul 7-11. " For each so called Christian Ye convert there shall be one point and for each Pagan ye convert there shall be two points, but for each Jew ye convert There Shall be ten points given, and Yeah for each Rabbi there shall be 20 points Given"

Please fill out the Voucher at the end of this tract and have it signed by your Jew. You will then be entered in our fantastic free drawing and will possibly win valuable prizes according to your works of conversion.

God has laid this foolproof Ten Point Plan to Convert Jews on my heart based on my years of experience being a Jew Converter. Follow this plan and YOU will be eligible for great prizes at our JEW DRAWING!

Let the information on this web page be your guide to converting those pesky ingrate Jews and turning them into good little messianics that you can parade in front of your church. Remember; there are points given for your works of conversion on our web page will help you win those points!


1. Use many "Yiddish" words in your conversation. Use Tush, Knishes, Mishpuchah,Rugalah, Bupkes, Mishugah,BaPitzed, Gonif, Schmuck, Chutzpah, Goyim, and Pippick. Approach your Jew by saying, " Hi Mishugah, How's your Pippick"

2. Never say Jew when addressing a Jewish person. Always say Kike or Hymie. Jews love these Yiddish sayings.

3. Never say Jesus Christ, but say Yeshua HaMashiach. This impresses Jewish people by your knowledge of Hebrew. After all, you may know as much Hebrew as they do!

4. Make it clear that "Gentile" and "Christian" are not the same. After all the Christians who pushed Jews into the gas chambers were not gentle.

5. Explain that not everybody that goes to church is really a Christian. Most of these people just want to show off their Sunday Clothes and listen to the preacher tell them that they really aren't Christians..

6. When you talk about other Christians (Goyim) call them "Shicksah" (for Woman) and "Shagitz" (for Man).

7. Explain that true Christians, such as yourself, do not kill Jews, but love to kidnap them and brainwash them.

8. Pick on a poor lonely Jews, or waylay confused teenagers. Refrain from too much talk concerning Spiritual Matters. Every third sentence should be enough.

9. Jews are agents of the devil (even if they are not aware of it themselves). Look for evidence of the devil such as horns, pointed tails, sharp noses, or basic intelligence. You must clearly demonstrate that you have none of these.

10. After you have become frendly to your Jew. You must feed them some pork or shell fish. This will make them into Sinners. Explain to them that they must be washed in the BLOOD of the Lamb to absolve them of this Sin. Most Jews would rather use Soap.

I will describe some things about Jews so you won't sound stupid when talking with them

THE TORAH The Jewish Bible is called the TORAH. Why, nobody really knows, but it is tradition. Jews have a tradition of reading the TORAH BACKWARDS! This shows how confused they are. The TORAH is not written in Jewish, but in an ancient language called Hebrew. Do you know that in Hebrew, Who is He, He is She, Me is Who, and Dag is fish? This sounds like Abbot and Costello, who were Catholic. The Jews have always been progressive and with it. Do you know that all prayers end in "Amen" which means "Right ON".

PASSOVER When the Jewish people escaped from Egypt, they had no time to bake bread so they made Matzah instead. This is very crummy stuff. Never Eat Matzah over your Jewish friend's good furniture. The Holiday is called Passover, but it really should be called Passunder for two reasons. First, everybody drinks four cups of wine which makes them very happy and they lean back alot, not to mentions everybody spills ten drops. Second they send all the children looking thoughout the house for a piece of Motzah. These children pass over and under everything. Speaking about children, the youngest child askes four questions which are answered by the daddy with the five answers. Every Jewish family has four children, The Wise Guy, The Bad Guy, The Silly Guy, and the Dumb Guy. This is very strange because at the end of the passover they all sing "An Only Kid".

Hannukah This holday is the Jewish Christmas. Jewish families do not have Christmas lights, but have a bunch of candles that are made in Israel. All Jewish families have Hannukah Bushes and sing Hannukah Carols, but they sing them to a strange four sided top called a driedle. Jewish families give presents for 8 days instead of 1 day. The favorite Food is a peculiar type of potato pancake called a Latke. Nobody can eat just one and nobody can get up from the table after eating two.

YOM KIPPUR Jewish families send their kids to day camp in the summer. Usually these camps are called "Camp YOM YOM" because they serve Knishes and Rugalah every day. When summer is over the kids have to go back to School. Then the parents cellebrate YOM KIPPUR which is the end of camp YOM YOM. Nobody eats beacuse they are so full of apples and honey from RUSH HA SHONAH when they Blow the SHOFAR. The object of this holiday is to see who can blow the SHOFAR the LONGEST.

SHABBAT The Jews were given the Sabbath which is on Saturday. Christians, because they came late celebrate it on Sunday. To make sure they don't miss it Jews start celbrating holidays in the eveneng before each holiday. Every Friday night is called Shabbat (notice how the h has moved from the end of the word to the second letter) which is celebrated by dancing with witches. Which is why they are called witches Sabbaths. The celebration ends with an ONEG which is an orgy of Knishes and Rugalah.

OTHER HOLIDAYS The Jews have a lot of other holidays, but they are never celebrated. These are:

Tu B'Shevat: Everybody Eats Almond Joy

Purim: An obscure Babylonian Holliday with a big noise and a Migillah Gorilla.

Pentacost: Nothing happens!

Simchat Torah: Go and picket your local Russian Embasy

Sukkot This is a celebration of doing additions to your house. The Jewish people remember when the roof was off and there was an unexpected rainstorm in July. However this holiday is in October.


Any one who wants to can go to a Jewish service. They are held every Friday Evening. Be sure to arive early so you can see the Sacrifices. Don't be too early or you will BE the Sacrifice. Every body wears beanies on their heads. These are called Yama Kaz . Put one on so they don't know who you are. Be sure to stand up when everybody stands and sit when everybody sits. Be prepared to Mumble. Remember the prayer book is BACKWARDS. You must eat the ONEG. Say SHABBAT SHALOM to the Rabbi. Look for the Witches. They are old Women wearing scarfs on their heads.

For More Information, Write to :..
Box 195 Los Altos CA 94023

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